Holding On By Letting Go

I’ll be honest—I’ve never really been one for New Year’s resolutions. At some point, when you realize you’ve put the same things on the list year after year and still haven’t quite committed, it can start to feel…defeating at best.

My husband, on the other hand, is excellent at resolutions. He keeps them in his notes app. They range from the aspirational (drink less), to the practical (lower his single-digit golf handicap), to everything in between. He revisits the list periodically and gives himself an honest score at the end of each year. He’s also the kind of person who unpacks immediately after a trip and folds clothes as soon as they come out of the dryer. I think you can see where I’m going.

So this year, I decided to try something a little different. Instead of resolutions, I chose a theme—a mantra, a framework, something to aspire to. My theme for 2026 is letting go.

When I’ve shared this with friends over the past week or so, the most common follow-up question has been, “Of what?” And the answer is—all kinds of things.

The easiest (maybe!) is letting go of stuff. Wondering what I wore to prom in 2006? I can show you—it’s still in my closet. My craft box from high school, complete with markers, crayons, colored pencils, glue sticks? Still have it. This year, I’m doing my best to let those things go. They served me well. In some cases, they served me well decades ago.

I’m also trying to let go of taking on other people’s feelings.

Not in a cruel way. Not in an uncaring way. But in a way that allows me to actually sustain my care for the people I love and the people I work with.

I’ve always been a caretaker—from my earliest elementary days through high school, college, and certainly beyond. But that caretaking can take its toll. Not because anyone has asked me to carry it, but because I naturally lean into it.

And yet—how can I sustain myself in the ways others need if I’m bogged down by the things I can’t control?

At school, this means being responsible for my leadership without carrying other people’s emotions.
At home, it means being a thoughtful wife, daughter, sister, and friend—without carrying other people’s hopes or dreams.

So this year, it’s letting go.

Or maybe, in some ways, holding on by letting go.